A few days ago, this blog has been ranked 13th in the list of Top 40 Catholic Mom Blogs on the Web in 2020. Thank you!
Writing. It hits home to me. It’s my solace.
When I would feel unsure, I am made secure by the fact that I can write. And all is well again.
In every conscious stages of my life, I remember to be always writing. Journals, poems, verses, diaries, and then blogs. Coincidentally, it also became my professional career. I was writing product documentations.
Writing transforms the million thoughts or analysis in my head into tangible words all clear and organised.
It calms me.
It hits home to me.
For the most part, blogging has been the form of writing that I’ve grown more attached to. It is easy to maintain and I can write online anywhere.
When I was a first-time mom, I got myself a blog. I wrote about moving to a new country and raising a family as an expat.
Unexpectedly, that blog grew to a point that I was contacted by brands for sponsored posts. And the display ads revenue weren’t that bad either.
And then something happened. Life happened.
I had an episode of depression that was triggered by our relocation to a new country and the exhaustion of doing everything as a mother and a homemaker.
I did not have a village to help me raise my children in this new country. Yes, we have friends and were part of a community. But they don’t live in our house to watch the kids while I hold knives to slice onions, or take turns handling my newborn’s breastfeeding demands.
Becoming a mother of two is the happiest and proudest accomplishment in my life. No career promotions could top that for me. My heart could not contain all the love and happiness that I bear for my kids. I would take bullet and leftover salivated sandwiches for them!
But I had no enough sleep, man. My body was tired. I thought I would have dementia from the monotony of daily life and deprivation of sleep. I was so tired. So sleep-deprived. So many body aches. And so many insecurities.
So I cut my blog. Because all I could write then was being tired. And people grow tired of reading all about being tired.
I needed to be OK because I was not OK.
Two years later, here we are friends. You are reading another new blog from me. Things have settled now.
And how I regretted for cutting that blog!
God loves us infinitely that He provides not just for our temporal needs, but also for our spiritual growth. He sends us storms in life so that we would leave all our pride and vanities in life and to hope and offer everything only to Him. And in the midst of the storm, He sustains us because He knows we are weak and could give up. I felt and I believed and I knew that God was holding my hand in every ebbs and webs of that difficult episode because I was raising His children, His very own children that He entrusts to me.
And I want to write about that. How can I raise my children as to how God wants me to?
I was so focused on the bodily welfare of my kids. I did not how to nourish their souls, which is the most important and nobler task between the two. I am an ignorant Catholic.
The light switch
The light switch came from the book The Christian Mother by Rev. W. Cramer (Holy Cross Publications). From the book, I learned how the vocation of motherhood is deeply valued and dignified in the Church, as opposed to how the modern society perceived it to be inconvenient and financially disruptive.
Motherhood is even esteemed to be the most important and noble vocation in the Church because we are raising the men and women of tomorrow, one family at a time. The family is the most basic unit of society. Wreck that, and follows the ruin of society and civilisation.
So you have to pray. Pray girl. Because many entities want to wreck families and they start with the mother.
And if you’re at a point in life similar to where I was, let me share to you this beautiful prayer that helps me get through the tough times.
Áve María, grátia pléna,
Benedícta tu in muliéribus,
et benedíctus frúctus véntris túi, Iésus
Sáncta María, Máter Déi,
óra pro nóbis peccatóribus,
nunc et in hóra mórtis nóstrae. Amen
Hope you wonderful today mom! Or an o-kay day. That is totally fine as well.